The big lesson that I got from today's entry was this:
With most things that bother us, the solution is not to convince him to change; it's to change the dynamic in our house ourselves, and he will likely follow along.
Wonderful words of wisdom that I am going to take to heart! My hubby has spiraled into a deep depression lately what with being laid off and only doing temp jobs until he gets called back permanently. It is rough but he is working at least four days a week which leaves us two to work on the house we're building and one for rest. God has been meeting all our needs and strengthening our marriage in ways that I first thought of as hardships and pain but they are simply God's refining fire purifying us and strengthening us as a couple. We are able to communicate in ways I didn't think possible; we've found out that we speak different love languages, mine being physical touch and his being acts of service. SO when he cleans the counter off or sweeps the floor he is saying "I love you" loud and clear. The problem was I didn't get it, I thought he was hiding in the kitchen to stay away from me. Often when I tried to hug him, or give him a neck rub, he would get flustered and I thought that meant he didn't want me to touch him, or that I was interrupting him...he has learned now that he needs to reach out to me with a hug or a cuddle now and again, and let's just say that I've learned very well over the past few weeks how to do some nice construction and furniture building!
Oh wow, I can tell I'm going to have a BLAST with this meme! I have something to look forward to on Wednesday again!!
Thanks so much for joining me with Wifey Wednesday! That's awesome.
ReplyDeleteYou know, it's funny that you mention love languages, because I finally took the assessment last night. And I was different than what I thought! I knew I was Words of Affirmation, but Physical Touch actually tied. That surprised me!
The funny thing is that my teenage daughter is definitely physical touch, too, but it didn't register on her assessment because the questions were "do you like it when you parents stroke your hair?" And all she could think of was: "no! That would mess my hair up!" But she loves to be hugged :)
Anyway, it's good to discover this about each other, and I'm glad that you're working through this difficult time!
Yes, the love languages are a big part of learning to love your spouse the way they need.
ReplyDeleteThis was an encouraging post!