Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The finish of my June 22nd Daybook ☺

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


My First Daybook

Come on over to The Simple Lady to join the fun. Link for June is here.Thanks to L @ The Berry Patch for posting her Daybook today and giving me impetus to get on with mine, already!

FOR TODAY... Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Outside my window... it's almost noon here on a gently rainy day. I love hearing the rain fall-so relaxing!


I am thinking...that it will be nice to have a new home and start from scratch.


I am thankful for...my husband and kids. 


From the learning rooms...research! It looks like I'll be getting some stuff from CurrClick and BJU Press. These both really impressed me for different reasons but both look to have excellent quality and a wide range of curriculum


~~~~Okay-it's now 7:14 pm, I am back online and ready to finish my Daybook  ~~~~


From the kitchen...The kids wanted chicken noodle soup tonight. Rain does make me crave soup and stews so I know where they get it from.


I am wearing...You might find this hard to believe but I am in my long-sleeve nightshirt and my hubby's flannel robe. I think I am coming down with a summer cold and I am miserable! Achy, cold, and tired. 


I am creating...my final check-list for our first load of stuff that we are taking to the property. 


I am going...to our property tomorrow night for the first overnight with the kids. They are unbelievably excited . The phone is being installed on Friday morning so we are combining business with pleasure. 


I am reading...The Armchair Angler: The Best Fish Stories - Fact and Fiction. It is a collection of fishing tales spanning the last three centuries by notables such as Izaak Walton and Henry David Thoreau among others. 


I am hoping...that everything goes perfect with the phone installation. With that we can venture overnight to the property without having to worry about me missing assignments for my college courses. 


I am hearing...a kitty meowing that wants love and the kids making excited plans for our trip while they get ready for bed.


Around the house...I am obsessively and critically decluttering the stuff that the kids have broken, outgrown, worn out, or that I just plain don't love and use every day...well, except my holiday serving dishes [blush]


One of my favorite things...when I feel miserable like this and my kids want to do stuff to "make momma feel better." They are so sweet. We cuddled in momma's bed and watched movies today and B10 and J7 kept saying to "just ask" if momma wanted tea or water or anything. I fell asleep a couple times and they stayed calm and cuddly! It was terrific. Around the middle of Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron we all drifted off and woke up at the end during Bon Jovi belting out "Can't keep me, I'm free!" Moments like that are my favorite things.


 

A few plans for the rest of the week: going to the property tomorrow, open swim at the local Y tomorrow night and Thursday night, family movie night at the theater which has not happened in over a year. No solid plans for the weekend other than hanging out and having fun


A picture is Worth a Thousand Words...
 This picture of B10 was taken about four years ago when I was teaching her to make black bean burrito filling. She loved her cooking set and looked so cute in it! She still loves learning to cook and I still have a blast with her in the kitchen. In fact today she made lunch-chicken and cheese quesadillas! Yum-O! Look out, Rachael Ray!


Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Off to the Farm...for good?

Today is a very busy day here at "camp." For nearly 11 years this house has been my full-time home...for 18 years before that it was where I spent three months every summer with my family...yeah, the same dysfunctional one I posted about here.

Until five years ago I had serious blinders about the extent of dysfunction in my family. I though the cutting remarks meant as "jokes" or "teasing" were normal in ALL families. I see now that they are far from that. I know that you can give positive instruction with mild constructive criticism as part of it instead of telling a 10 year old girl who is trying to make her first birdhouse "Give me that hammer...girls can't do anything!" I will NEVER tease or joke my kids the way I did. I was an emotional wreck with no self esteem.Then I didn't listen to my parents when I was 18, and I really should have...but out of that disaster of a marriage I got three terrific, beautiful, brilliant, amazing kids and I wouldn't give them up for the world. I have said before that to have these kids I would go through the mental, verbal, and ultimately physical abuse all over again.

Well, five years ago I threw that man out of my life (as much as is possible when one doesn't want to go and there are children involved). I started attending a support group and moved on with my  life. Two weeks after my first meeting I went out for coffee as a group and got to know the man that God had sent me (more about him here )

Five years later almost we have bought the farm...really! 28 acres in Piscataquis County, Maine. We love it! There is a brook at the center of the property, the Piscataquis Stream cuts across the bottom-right corner right before it runs into the Piscataquis River...simply beautiful! As soon as I have some money to get my Kodak Easy Share Dock I will upload pics of the property. We were gifted with a little tow-behind travel trailer and can stay in that on rainy nights as well as have an indoor space to cook with a full kitchen and a bathroom...it will give us another week to get our septic system installed. Today we are taking a good sized load of stuff that wouldn't fit in the Jeep. That means that the kids and I are going to be loading the utility trailer with wood for outbuildings, hardware cloth, the barbecue, a couple of cinderblocks to use as a planter/post holder for our mailbox/newspaper box, my lilac bush, and just a bunch of stuff, really!

Well, it's 1:00 pm just about and we are leaving around 5:00 so I REALLY gotta haul buns!! Off I go.

Tomorrow is the phone install so I *hope* I'll be able to post a little something from home. 

Until then, may your blessings be unlimited and your coffee just right!

The Courtship of Moira Killarney

I realized that not many people know the story of mine and my dh's courtship and wedding.

We met in passing in January of 1998 when I visited friends in Toronto. I didn't want to come back, lol but being a minor my folks got their way.

A year later I met the man I would be married to for six years. This is the one time I can look back in my life and say "Wow, I should've listened to Mom and Dad." But if I had I wouldn't have my awesome kids. In January of 2005 this man, who hadn't worked for more than a 3 month stretch each year since the fall of 1999 decided he was going to go back to school for the second time and get his commercial truck drivers license. I didn't think he would do it because ten years earlier he tried and quit. Big surprise he did get the license and I found out he was not committed to our marriage. He was unwilling to go to counseling as well as wanting permission to go over the road on long hauls. I couldn't see it working and told him that his desire for freedom only gave me more cause for concern.

I started attending a support group and God led me to my wonderful husband. He is everything that a Christian man should be-he desired a family, wanted to be home every night, did more than his share of housework, was a mature Christian AND a mature man...he did not want to sit and play video games or watch TV all day. He would rather be outside with the kids and me in the canoe or just walking around our property.

We had our first "date" on the day before Easter, we went to breakfast. After that we were inseparable during daylight hours. He helped me get out of my family's "clutches" as I call them and see that I could stand on my own two feet and have a home that didn't require me to be under my father's control and have no say about the paint on the walls or the decorations I put out. Sadly I lost the job I had on the coast when the yacht company I worked for lost everything in a lawsuit. I had to move back to the "camp" in September of 2005 and have been here ever since.

On September 10th of 2005, exactly six years to the day I got married, my divorce hearing was scheduled. After hearing the nasty aspersions cast on me by my ex-within-moments then realizing that I had just appeared before this magistrate a day before in an unrelated matter (my sister stole my checks, forged and passed them to the tune of $1100) and asked if he was involved in that matter (yes, he was, in the worst way you can imagine) she granted the divorce immediately, finalized on site...I walked out of the courtroom with signed, notarized finalized divorce papers.

31 days later on October 11, 2005 Daniel and I were married in the florist shop my aunt works at:

I wonder how many other men have gotten married in fishing vests? LOL...many wonderful  memories and great times.

I Love You DWM and I always will! Toime n'greleat, meh anem corah

Monday, June 21, 2010

Spring Reading Thing is Finished

Hello once again to the Farmhouse.  Well, I did it. I finished The Scarpetta Factor on Saturday night...it was practically Sunday morning though being 11:44 pm but it was a wonderful book and well worth staying up late to finish. After all, it is summer, no rigid schedules to stick to and fun to be had wherever you can grab it.

Well, that was the end of it folks, the Spring Reading Thing 2010 officially ended on June 20th. Susanne from Living to Tell the Story let me know that another one is held beginning the first day of Fall called "Fall into Reading." I can hardly wait!

More Farmhouse Happenings to Follow! Off for my cuppa...

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Always coming in at the tail end ~~SPRING READING THING 2010~~

Well, here I am coming in at the tail end of things...lol! After reading a few of the FFF (Friday Fave Five) posts this week I came across an explanation of the Spring Reading Thing!


So here is my one reading goal for tonight: 

The Scarpetta Factor
 
Finish it. That's it. I've been dragging this book out. I have been a huge Patricia Cornwell fan since I discovered her Kay Scarpetta series in high school. I took a little time off reading her books after Trace. When I was on Good Reads last I discovered there are five or six other Scarpetta series novels that I hadn't read so I am going to be getting them from the library. I will let you know tomorrow whether I hit my goal or not!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Friday Fave Five 6/18/2010


Okay, today is my first ever Friday Fave Five.  I saw this idea on a blog I follow on Saturday and could hardly wait until today to start!

Fave Five for Friday, June 18, 2010
  • Open swim at the YMCA. Today was so unbearably hot that the kids and I couldn't even walk down to the boat landing to swim. When dh got home from work I loaded the kids in the car and drove to the local YMCA for a two-hour open swim. B10 and J7 are very confidant in the pool and A5 and I have fun playing in the shallow end. She usually sits on an unused step and tosses a rubber ball or pool toy for me to "fetch." I don't mind playing labrador retriever to her tadpole because her giggle is infectious! To celebrate her starting swimming lessons tomorrow Daddy ordered her this adorable bear from the Bear Family Gifts website.
  • Farmer's Market on Saturday morning. We have an AMAZING local market in Skowhegan and this year we have a children's garden growing. We are located at the Somerset Grist Mill, formerly the town jail. This was a fabulous re-purposing of a historic building in our town.  There is almost always live entertainment, yummy samples at every booth, free coffee from Somerset Coffee Roasters (the only place I buy coffee anymore!), delectable breads, local goat's milk cheeses, hand blended herbal teas, the most sniff-a-rific and tasty-ful handmade soaps and lip balms from A Page 'N Thyme farm in Anson-I am hooked on Lavendar...it is so soothing and relaxing. I also love the citrus and mint balms when I need a kick of energy or my allergies are causing my nose to be stuffy.
  • Local libraries! I just got a card for our new library. While I've had a card for our local library, it is pretty far and I don't utilize much of anything "in town;" "local" being relative, it is 12 miles one way to the local library. The library in the next big town is only 5 miles one way but charges $30 annually for a card and there is a two book at a time limit for out-of-towners. Needless to say I only did that for one year and didn't take advantage of it much. Our new town library is the Guilford Public Library. Guilford residents pay an additional $10 a year in their taxes to utilize the library free; those who live in the surrounding towns pay $20 a year. BUT there are reduced fee programs for families like us, and all kids who either reside in (that means homeschooled) and/or attend school in SAD 4 can use the library for free. We received a scholarship to the local YMCA and thus we are eligible for the Loan to Learn program they offer meaning we can get a free family card. 
  • Satellite high-speed internet.  I will be getting Wild Blue installed in July at our new house. At this point it is more of a glorified campground than a homestead but we have received permission to deconstruct and salvage the house we live in now and use the materials to build our new place. This is going to save us a few thousand dollars and guarantee us a house by August. We are doing the big move on July 4th weekend. 
  • Finally, FlyLady Marla Cilley. If you have a tough time keeping your home picked up for whatever reason: some of us had those childhoods where our weekends were not our own...you know, Saturday morning all the other kids were out playing ball and what not and YOU were inside cleaning house...all day...because nothing was ever right the first time. Or your mom had some type of issue that made her inable to clean house herself and you took on the responsibility early in life. Marla helps us overcome these issues with Baby Steps. I have been a FlyBaby for five years and if you follow her routines and guidelines you can overcome CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and FLY (Finally Love Yourself). Her website, www.flylady.net has a ton of resources and there are so many people that donate their time to help us out. Check her out if you have ever found yourself in your pajamas, at 4:00 in the afternoon, staring at a fridge full of "science projects" and inedibles with no idea what to cook for dinner, in an hour, for those aliens from Planet Mayhem that have been asking "What's for dinner?" since ten minutes after you put the lunch dishes in the sink...where they joined the breakfast dishes...and the dishes from dinner...two days ago...along with the in-between dishes...you get the picture! 
Well, there is my Friday Fave Five... I will definitely be doing this weekly! Thanks to Susanne at Living to tell the Story for hosting this idea and webring!

Dysfunction...does it get more dysfunctional than this?

Do you have anyone dysfunctional in your family? Are there enough dysfunctional people in your family, and their acquaintances are dysfunctional enough, that everyone thinks their completely bizarre behavior is NORMAL?

Like my family, for instance. Two years ago I had a distant-by blood, living distance, and visting "contact"-call our states Child Protective Services and file a complaint...filled with lies, because she has never liked me, even as a child and after a few years of counseling my therapist helped me understand and embrace that my home is my sanctuary...and I do NOT have to let people in it just because they are relatives...and in my "family" that term is VERY loosely used...every ex-spouse, in-law and outlaw is "family."  CPS came out the next day, unannounced, caught us just coming home from the grocery store. They came in, the house was clean but I admit it was cluttered. I am one of those "artists" who hates to put away a project in progress, LOL! The women were impressed, none the less. They took mental note of the groceries we purchased, that I allowed the kids to help put things away without getting stressed, were impressed with the fact that I had given up my bed to the girls while we were waiting for their new bunk beds to be delivered and that I could instantly show proof of purchase of the beds when asked, impressed that I had turned a large, semi-useless room into two good sized bedrooms, one for J7 who was 5 at the time and one for B10 and A5 who were 8 and 3. A5 doesn't really remember the whole thing, but one woman talked to the kids separate from us in their room and were impressed with what they were told. Long story short, we have nothing to hide, they found that the claims made were blatantly false, and actually laughable...mostly because A) we live on a farm and B) we are off grid; all our power comes from the sun with propane for cooking and heating water. Here is a short list of the things that were claimed to make my home unsafe and me a bad mother:
  •  There were chickens living in my kitchen cabinets. Yes, I have chickens. No, they never have and never will live IN my house...they have their own 8' x 6' chicken house separate from us. 
  •  There was supposedly no bathroom. What did I spend 14 hours and $450 two days before renovating, then? The neighbors bathroom? 
  • I was heating the house with an electric stove-the oven, supposedly-with the door wide open and the children unsupervised. See B, above, for the laughable explanation to this. 
So, the case workers found this all to be blatant lies, we willing signed releases for them to look at our medical records to see if we were on prescription narcotics (nope, neither one of us) or had debilitating mental illness...another no. Case was closed, with "No concerns or reservations. ALL claims made by informant found to be completely false. This report appears to have been made maliciously to harm Mrs. McGarry, who is an exemplary mother. Appropriate interactions observed between mom/stepdad/children and no statements were made by the children to raise any alarms or cause concern." 

To illustrate the statement about "relatives," my "maybe" grandfather's brother's (who is also another candidate to be my grandfather) wife's half-sister's husband is my "uncle." He and his wife have NEVER visited my home in the TEN YEARS I have lived here, unless my grandfather, who raised me, is visiting from California, and then their home is the neighboring lot. So they have NEVER visited my home. Yet when my ex-husband took me to court for partial custody he was called as a witness, and quickly disallowed...because he is also my ex's landlord!

I have chosen to break off contact with my family because of the things that have been done...identity theft multiple times by my only full-blood sister (that is, we have the same two parents); her boyfriend has been allowed to burglarize my home with the assistance of my grandfather because he was lied to and told some of their belongings were in my home. Papa later apologized and offered to replace the missing items, but you cannot replace the memories attached to photo albums, or the clothes that my mother- and sisters-in-law spent thousands of dollars on to replace my kids' wardrobe when their father, my ex, burned everything in a fit of anger when I served him divorce papers. The sickest part is Papa either A) sees nothing wrong with their actions or B) just doesn't care how they hurt others. He enables it by giving out money every time they ask. So, today's Amazon Recommendation are:














All of these books are fabulous and really helped me on my way to healing, forgiving, and enabling myself to do what is necessary, even though it can be painful, to break this cycle in my family. As children we were spoiled but at 29 I am finally secure enough in my faith and trust the Lord fully to provide for me and mine that I no longer ask my dad for money. In fact, as much as I dream of having a laptop I told Papa not to buy one when he offered. I am the one that let coffee get spilled on mine, I replaced it with my student loan money but got a desktop instead, and I am happy with it. Forgiving Our Parents, Forgiving Our Selves did the most good in my case, but all were excellent books.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

****MEGA GOOD NEWS ALERT****

If you are one of those people who don't like it when good things happen to other people, stop reading now...

Okay, I really mean it...I know there are some of you who troll the 'net looking for good news on blogs and want to steal other's joy, but it won't work here...

All right, don't say I didn't warn you...for those who like a feel good mood-boost, keep on reading!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was talking to my dad a couple of days ago and the talk turned to the current issue of back-taxes owed on the property we jointly own. I am not in a fiscal position to pay them off, he is not in a mental willingness to. The house is not in a great condition. The wall joists, timbers, drywall, insulation, wiring, plumbing, that's all in pretty good condition. The roofing tin is a mix of 30 year old tin and some newer tin on the upper roof.

We are buying our own property, I have a quit-claim deed ready to give my dad once a permanently-habitable house is up on our new place, and dad told me yesterday the three best words I could ever hear...
"Tear it down." Yep,  he told me to tear the camp down and use the materials to build a new house. Now, mind you, this "camp" is two stories in back, 1.5 stories in front, a worthless basement that is more often a lake because of the high water table where we live...30 feet long by 25 feet wide. LOTS of building material. It means we can have our permanent house up by August instead of a temporary shelter up and build the house next year! I can't wait!!

Anyone wishing to see roughly what our new house will look like can find Andy Sheldon's drawings and layout here. The temporary shelther, which is now going to be a workshop is here.

Once I get either a Kodak Easy Share dock or a working USB cord for my camera I will upload and post some pics of the property.

God bless, have a great week, and remember:
     Cast your cares on Him for He cares for you every iniquity.

Monday, June 14, 2010

The Lord is Good to Me

As some of you know, my family has been in a split-custody arrangement since November of 2008. It has never really been a great thing and it's just gotten worse and worse with no changes in sight.

Well my husband and I just bought a 28 acre farm in the area of Maine we both really wanted to raise a family in and have agreed that it is time to go back to court and have things returned to the way they were. My kids' dad is on the road as a truck driver more than he is home, the kids' stepmom puts on a good face when he is around but does a complete 180* when he's not, and the kids are not happy there. They want to come home and visit the other house on alternate weekends. My goal is to homeschool, and it is what the kids want too. That will allow more flexibility and I am sure my ex-husband will be able to see that as well. His new wife has said to my face that she is the only reason he has his kids one full week at a time and also that she could not "STAND" to have him home every night..."I value my private time too much." What about his relationship with his kids? That is not a thing to hold over a person's head and I refuse to allow my kids to live in that type of environment any longer.

So God spoke to me in His still, small voice out of the blue. I receive a daily encouraging email with a Bible verse from KLOVE radio (http://www.klove.com/ to sign up, it's totally free!) and here is today's email:
Encouraging Word


Monday 6/14/2010

"So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you."
                                                                                                          ~ Deuteronomy 31:6, NLT
That is the encouragement I have been desperately seeking. I have quiet in my soul, peace in my heart, and confidence to go forward with God's support and He will go before me to make the way easy.

May you hear from God in some way today and may it encourage and bless you!